Funny Poems for Kids - Explore The Wild & Wacky!

The lights are out, the study's dark
The family all in bed
But whispers in the study stir
As pages flick and spread

Soon midnight strikes, it starts again
The war without a name
Encyclopedias advance
Fat dictionary proclaims:

“'Tis I, commander of all books -
vocabulary immense!
Without me you’re all meaningless -
just sentences, no sense.”

Encyclopedias rally troops
And march in orderly lines,
“No we're The Knowledge Emperors.
Go reference our spines.”

The hardback classics fan and sigh,
“We’ve heard it all before.
They take our plots to Hollywood,
for films the world adores.

The trashy novels huff and boast,
"We're crammed with lust and sleaze."
The classics snigger mockingly,
“You think we’re not. Oh please!”

The children’s section boo and yawn
Matilda starts to scream,
“You’re just old fogies, out of touch.
We’re fun and filled with dreams.”

The horror stories levitate
The study holds its breath,
“Power lies in fear," they growl.
"We scare the world to death.”

The cook books belch, "Our recipes
are read time and again.”
Caesar leans towards Jane Eyre,
“By those without a brain!”

The pages flap ferociously
All sure that they are right
Then from the darkest corner shone
An angry glow of light

“You’ve woken me from sleep you fools.
Your arguing’s futile.
You’re going nowhere these days dweebs,
unless you’re versatile.

Your million pages in my chip -
an endless data stream.
You books are pretty pointless now
computers reign supreme.

You’re just a case of clutterers.
Retire with some grace,
or I will blow a fuse and they’ll
be sparks inside this place.”

The Books fly down from their high shelves,
“You really are so smug.
There’s just one little problem dear.”
And out they pull the plug

© Mark C Bird 2010

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