Part I
This year I was astounded
When beneath the Christmas tree
My brother placed a present
That was huge and just for me

It was the first time ever
That my normally bratish brother
Had bought me anything at all
We usually hate each other
On Christmas day we gathered
My bro no more a geek
Forgive, forget – it’s Christmas!
I even pecked his cheek
I dragged the box towards me
It towered to my chin
Attacked it like a tiger
As foam frothed round my grin
Inside there was a new box
Wrapped up as neatly too
My prey - I pounced upon it
And tore it with one chew
But then in quick succession
More boxes were revealed
Some twenty shrinking presents
I clawed at and unsealed

But finally the last one
No bigger than my fist
Was tied with silver-pink bows
That no sis could resist
Oh what a brilliant brother
To do this special thing
I grabbed my gift and held it up...
A DIRTY BALL OF STRING!!!?
Soon everyone was laughing
My gran and even Dad
I fled up to my bedroom
Ashamed that I’d been had
I hurled the string at Teddy
As anger boiled my brain
Red mist steamed up my eyeballs
And vengeance clogged my veins
Part II
Sat down for Christmas dinner
Concealed the stringy cable
And while they all were scoffing
Dropped my fork under the table
Unwound my brother’s present
And tied his feet together
Then sneaked back to my seat and shrieked,
“My god – look at the weather...
...I’m sure I saw a snowflake!”
They all leapt up to see
And ran towards the window
Except my bro and me
He jumped up for a second
But crashed onto the table
And head butted the turkey
Which sent the gravy ladle
Go spinning high above us
Which splattered all the guests
Including Granny’s glasses
And Daddy’s hairy chest
Bro’s face - a mask of splodges
Pea-green and cranberry-red
Then with a thud, the ladle
Fell and clanged upon his head
“Get to your room,” Dad bellowed
Unwrap not one more thing!”
But who needs Christmas presents
When you’ve got ball of string

©2009 Mark C Bird
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